This month we are launching a new series all about self-love. It’s Our Community Curator is kicking it off with brand new guest post. Be inspired by her honest words about her journey of discovering true biblical confidence.
Do I love myself? Am I confident in who God made me to be? These are questions we may never get around to asking ourselves. They are questions that make us cringe or questions that make us think. If we are honest with ourselves, we may find the answer is yes. At other times, the answer is no or maybe even, still in progress.
When I ask myself these questions, I find the answer is “I love who I have become.” Not to sound full of myself or “big-headed,” but I used to hate who I was and constantly wished to be someone else. When I look at who I am now, I have become someone who I never dreamed I could become. That someone, who was afraid to express herself, afraid to speak, and who was constantly unsure of herself, is now confident in her outward appearance, her voice, and most importantly, confident in her relationship with Jesus.
So, “How did it all change and where did it all begin?” you ask.
Well, I’m glad you asked, and I will certainly do my best to share with you the moments which have changed my life.
When it came to my outward appearance, I never gave much thought to how I looked growing up. I just wanted to hang out with friends and play in the woods. When high school came around, I became more aware of the fact that outward appearance was important and would determine whether you were beautiful and desirable. I never fit the category because I didn’t even know how to change my appearance, and frankly, I didn’t care. I was told by my family that I was beautiful without makeup and my hair was perfect the way it was, and so, I believed it.
When it came time for dating, I inexplicably began wearing makeup and changing my hair. Even during my seasons of singleness, I wore makeup and it became my cover up for learned insecurities. Although my family told me I didn’t need to wear makeup and it may make me seem more intimidating and less friendly to people, I still wore it because I thought society told me I needed it. I went back and forth from believing it was wrong to wear makeup because it made me look like I was trying too hard, to believing that I should wear makeup and do my hair to be more presentable to the world. So many questions came about: to cover up or not to cover up? To go natural, or not natural?
I am now at a point in life where I feel beautiful either way. It took me some time coming back to the natural look because I had lost sight of how God saw me and how He created me. When He created me, He said it was good and He continues to reaffirm to me that I am beautiful.
Psalm 139:14, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
Father God has shown me that I can represent His beauty and I am meant to establish a true definition of beauty. In fact, we are all meant to represent a part of who God is, and that includes His beauty. Whether it be through creative businesses, service, relationships, music, or art, we all carry a piece of who He is, and we represent His nature.
Beauty is the essence of a person. The world is our canvas and we can be the artists as well as the artwork. We can create our own beauty through appearance or character, and it can all be appreciated if we choose to encourage and inspire each other. It is time to open the eyes of creativity and see ourselves for what we truly are: beautiful. But most importantly, God’s definition of beautiful.
Proverbs 31:25, “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”
1 Samuel 16:7, “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
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Not only have I found confidence in my outward appearance, but I have become confident in my voice. I used to think I had nothing important to say, and when I spoke, I was unsure of myself. When I went through Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, the Lord acknowledged to me that my voice had been shut down as a kid. He then showed me that what I struggled with the most would turn into my calling in life. All I needed was to hear from God that He knew my pain and fear. He knew what I went through and how I felt in those moments of silence, and He has always been with me building me up into a strong woman who is confident in her voice.
Finding my voice came when I learned to hear God’s voice and therefore, became confident in His truths over my life. It made me even more confident in my relationship with Jesus. I learned that He not only loves me, but He likes me. He wants to hang out with me all the time and He loves to hear what I have to say. He is always listening to me, and He wants to use me to speak His words to the world. I trust and believe this is true and I will no longer shy away or back down from what He has placed in front of me.
Matthew 10:20, “At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.”
If you feel silenced in this world, just know that God wants to use you to speak. You have good things to say and your words have value. You are meant to carry His words and speak His truth from your lips. A time will come when He will open a door for you to speak, and your words will impact many lives. Trust me, if He can do it for me, I’m positive He will do it for you.
JANELLA FOX is a passionate ministry leader from Cleveland, Ohio and serves as our Community Curator. She began writing for her mother, and in doing this, found her passion for writing. She graduated from Ohio Northern University in 2014 with a bachelor’s in psychology and went on to complete two years of BSSM ministry school. Janella is newly married to her husband, Nate, and serving the Lord in various ministries.
P.S. This topic is inspired by the study: ‘Hello Love: Encounters to Redeeming Self-Love!’ An honest and vulnerable 6-session study that will guide you in encountering true love–> Check it out for yourself!